Pretentious
Today I am pretentious!!!
You may be asking why, well, I am pretentious for several reasons. I am sitting in a Starbucks- Drinking a specialized- made just for me- coffee (a hot chocolate with a non fat caramel shot- Shut up!!! I know it's not that pretentious, but it looks that way with its deceptively foam-like whip cream and chocolate drizzled perfectly on top!!) and I am writing. I am also on vacation while I am writing this, so I have a pretentious hat trick! I am pretentiously squared! I am the captain of the pretentious squad!!
I suppose my level of pretentiousness it taken down a notch because my hot chocolate is kinda gross, and I do write like a grade five boy; I'm left-handed, I can't help it!! (note: this was hand written while I was away last week!!- editors italicized note!! PRETENTIOUS!!!) But my over priced apple fritter counter acts the above two points.
There really is no reason for this blog. I just decided that since my backpack is resting against the table, giving the air that I do this for a living…. Sorry, cute guys just walked in. I'm pretentious, I can lose my train of thought and write that fact down!!! Oh yeah, backpack, it's facing so no one can see the Scoobie-Doo keychain or my Connect 4 game keychain. I have my cell phone out on the table as though I am expecting an important phone call….. More Cute boys!!!
Anyway, today I am pretentious! I went to the art gallery. True, the main exhibit was about the art of comics, video games, and anime, but I was still in an art gallery! I am writing in a notebook from the one of a kind craft show, pausing every so often to look to the sky for inspiration with the end of my pen in my mouth, sighing dramatically, as though I am struggle for the perfect combination of words.
In fact, I am so pretentious today (sitting in the comfy chair at Starbucks) drinking my specialized drink that I have barely noticed the earring lying on the floor. I'm too pretentious to care!! I'm sitting in a nice warm Starbucks, laughing at all the people walking by in the rain. I know I will have to walk in the rain soon, but right now I am not, and what makes that even more pretentious is that I can leave whenever I want, because I am from Toronto, and I am on vacation- (I thought anyone from Canado, who is from outside Toronto would get a kick out of that!! :o)
I can't stop thinking about that stupid earring!! A pretentious person wouldn't care!! Who cares if it was a gift, or a family heirloom? Okay, I'll make a pretentious compromise, if it is still there when I leave, I'll wrap it in a napkin, and give it to the barista. I'm pretentious, I have a barista!!
I suppose I should write some poetry or something, because as a pretentious person, I realize that's what pretentious people do. In fact I'm so pretentious, I'm going to force you to read some bad poetry..
Umbrellas crashing
Like wakes of a choppy bay
Pitter patter sounds of raindrops
Rolling off my plaid Burberry umbrella
I shake it
Once
Twice
And feel my emotions slip away with each shake
See, pretentious!! :o)
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