Blame It On The Hipsters

Have you ever had a ground breaking thought, like man, this is a real game changer, then realized your were listening to shitty pop music? And you were not only listening to it, you were singing along and shimmying your shoulders? Then you realized that your game changer thought had vanished because all you could think about was

“So c-come on
You got it wrong
To prove I'm right I put it in a song”

I feel like this is the end of the world, and I think it's pop music's fault. I mean, we are having zombie attacks, people disembodied, mass murders galore, and people have, not a want, but a need for 15 minutes of fame. Does this mean we can blame the impending zombie Apocalypse on Simon Cowell? Let's get real here, he is the master mind behind several pop bands. Plus with the reality shows he has been a part of, he just encourages mindless- dare I say it- Zombie-ism?

I guess my concern is that I may fall victim to it. Sure, I like good music. I love bands like The Heavy, Charles Bradley, Led Zeppelin and Weezer, but I think that I am ready to admit that “I'm Sexy and I Know It” makes me want to shake my hips! Why continue to deny myself the joy of dancing? Why can't The Beatles, Awolnation and One Direction live happily together in my I-pod?

Whoa! Wait! Am I jumping to conclusions just to try and justify people liking shitty music? That I like crappy music? OMG! I like crappy music!?! WTF!?!!? I like good music, great music! But, it's time for me to stop fighting. Why now? Why do I suddenly, after decades of fighting pop music, have I chosen to let my guard down, to admit defeat?

I blame hipsters.

I don't want to be like them, so I accept mass. I don't want to start a trend, I'm through with that part of my life. Maybe I am evolving, like my mouth and the fact that it only had 3 wisdom teeth. Or maybe I just despise hipsters that much! 

Screw it! I like Kelly Clarkson! There is nothing wrong with angry white girl music damn it!

It's all in the eye(brows)

Do you ever see see someone's eyebrows and just stop? Like you are crossing the street and in the middle of the intersection and someone passes by you and you actually have to stop, turn around and stare after them, and then you are suddenly snapped back to reality because traffic wants to get going? You actually think to yourself that the world would be a better place if you could just lick your thumb and wipe them off. I do. All the time. ALL the time!

For example last week I saw this woman who looked normal enough, blond hair in a nice updo, a posh outfit, picture perfect carrying a few paper bags as she most likely just completed a fashionista trip to Yorkville, then BLAMY! The eyebrows! It was like someone had flattened two caterpillars, dyed them black and glue gunned them to this poor woman's forehead. I wondered at first if maybe it was just some a-hole hipster thing, but no. I don't think it was that as there weren't any other hipster signs about her. Why has no one who loves her or cares for her told her that these things on her face are hideous!

I remember when I was in high school I used to wear the worst clothes ever, and I do mean the worst! I loved to wear things that changed patterns as I moved. I had a pair of white foam platforms that had a moving rainbow pattern as the band that went across the top of my foot. I paired it with a pink silkish mid-shin length skirt that had a mesh layer over top, I called it my fru-fru skirt if that helps you envision it a little better. Why didn't my friends pull me aside and tell me how awful I looked? That what I was wearing was just wrong. I guess that's love. Pure and simple. My friends loved me, and accepted me. They didn't care what I looked like, they loved me for who I was, not for what I wore! Perhaps that's why this woman's friends let her walk around with caterbrows. No. Let's get real. Her friends are assholes. Either that or she has no friends and has brought those caterbrows on herself. And the rest of the world. Specifically me. What a bitch!