A cold cold day

A cold cold day

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Expendibles: Sept 09 2010

The Expendables

Yeah, I know I just wrote about the uber girlie chick flick Twilight, but I like to keep things different. I'm just that kinda girl! That's why I love The Expendibles. Like almost super loved it!!! It WAS everything I was hoping for and more! The horrible acting, awful line delivery, some fights, and for some reason a lot of comedy!! A-MAZ-ING!

Who knew that Jet Li was going to be my favourite??? with lines like “I'm short. I get shot, bigger hole” and “I get pay more, I'm shorter, I work harder” how can you not love him! OMG I am in love with him!!!

Oh, and Jason Statham was the strongest actor in the film?? And, even though he was wearing white pants for a big portion of the film, he was still the good looking one in the cast. Goodness knows it wasn't Stalone and his botoxed face and perma guyliner. Oh, and don't even get me started on his running!! He must have done like 4 intense running scenes, He needs to leave that to Tom Cruise. I say it out of Love Sylvester!

Another great thing about the movie was Steve Austin. I used to be a totally huge WWE fan, and it was Stone Cold who got me watching it. So it was kinda cool to see him be an actual complete dick!!! His fights were great, he speared the shite out of Stalone, but also I think has a sick sense of humour... I say this because I think I was the only one in the theatre that got a specific reference.

You may or may not remember when Austin was married he was accused of beating up his wife, and then he was accused of beating up the woman he dated after that. Well in the movie Eric Roberts Character says he isn't a bad guy, he would never hit a woman. But this guy (and he points to Austin) he's not so great (or something to that effect) and Austin nails her!! Yikes, and a few more yikes!!! It's kinda one of those weird moments, where, yeah, he plays a complete yeast infection, and that is what that person would do in real life. But on the other hand there are some real dumbasses out there that think violence against women is cool or funny, so let me say this, violence, to men or women is not cool, nor funny, and never necessary!! Imma give the movie credit here and say they did this to prove only true douchbags do that sort of thing.

My WTF for the film was Mickey Rouke, seriously, WTF!! I mean, yeah, he probably was better at acting than Jason Statham, but I stopped listening to him about 47 seconds into his monologue- I didn't want sappy, I wanted explosions!

I say the movie was everything I was hoping for, but that isn't exactly true. I was hoping for more explosions, and I was hoping for more fighting, but all in all, I do think that it was a great movie- mostly because of the comedy.

The Forgotten Knife: Sept 03 2010

The Forgotten Knife

I was sitting in a local restaurant with great company, and yet I felt sad. It wasn't the storm, I actually quite like storms, the power failures, heavy rain, thunder (I assume it's always a good game of bowling up there!) and flashes of lightening are something I really enjoy.

What's got me so upset is a knife. An abandoned knife, left alone in the cold. Let me back track a bit. When I sat down for dinner it was a bit cloudy, kinda questionable patio weather, so we sat inside, but there were people on the uncovered patio. Pretty soon it got real dark, and it started to spit rain, and not long after the thunder started. I watched everyone pack up and run inside. Everything was taken, the salt and pepper shakers, napkins, menus, everything except one napkin, and one knife.

They were left behind, left to survive one of the worse storms of the summer. They clung together with fear and hope, perhaps even a little bit of excitement at first! It didn't take long for the napkin to succumb to the conditions. It fought its hardest, and ended up sacrificing itself to save the knife, wrapped itself protectively around the knife until it dissolved away into nothingness. The knife was left alone and forgotten, fear set in, and sadness washed over it as the loss of the napkin settled in to place. Is almost seemed as though the knife no longer cared about the rain. It didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that it was a conductor for lightening. It just sad there, cold and alone, no one taking the time to rescue it.

Yes I know, I'm one of those people that hated that abandoned lamp commercial from Ikea. Those swifter commercials where the old cleaning mop, or duster got left behind (before they started making them fall in love with new things) Oh, and don't even get me started on the salt shaker commercial!! It actually made my eyes water....

I sat through the rest of my meal watching this knife. Guilt ridden that it had been abandoned. I felt such a great need to do something to save it, make the knife realize it wasn't alone, that someone did care about it. The knife deserves to sit nice and cozy in a cutlery drawer with a brand new family of knives! So when I left, I did the only thing possible to redeem my lack of actions. I stole it. The knife looks a lot happier now, but I do still feel bad about the napkin though...

superheroyness: Aug 27 2010

So, I am pretty sure I am a superhero....
I know everyone wants to be one, or at least have superhero powers, but I am pretty sure I am an actual superhero of the future! Hear me out. You know computers, right? Have you ever notice how dependant we are on them? I mean movies keep telling us they will be mankind’s downfall, and we know it won't be aliens between Segourney, Will, Mel and Tom I think we will be safe on that front!

Here's where my superheroness comes into play. I have the ability to destroy them, and I don't mean with an axe and a mean back kick, I have powers! I can just walk past a computer, and it starts acting weird, like it's got a cold. If I think about how important it will be to getting an assignment completed, it won't work properly. It'll slow down, the mouse moves the arrow to where it wants so the typing is going in the middle of another sentence, kinda like it's got the flu. And if I store something important on it that means a lot to me, it goes back to manufacturers settings! Game over!!! It's like it has Norwalk, Sars and H1N1 all rolled into one!

I don't know for sure where this power comes from, but I think I may have inherited it from my mother. She too has the abilities to destroy computers, and her powers seem to get stronger with age! What's weird is that I am the only one of my sisters to have inherited this ability. My powers seen to be stronger then my mothers when it comes to computers, but my mom can use her powers on more items like TV's, microwaves and especially vacuum cleaners.

The sad part is that just like any other superhero my power is just as much a burden as it is a strength right now. But I am sure that when computers do finally rise up, and try to take over the world I'll be there, ready with my cape and mask, to try and save the world. Now if vacuum cleaners try to take over, my mom has totally got that one covered!

Yup, I Saw It: August 25, 2010

I'm just gonna say it. I liked it, and you know what?? I'm not ashamed to admit it- I enjoyed Twilight Eclipse the movie. Now before you go all judgey, you should know the production value went way up for this movie, the acting and directing was better, and it was true to the book without getting boring! Oh, did I not mention that I have seen all three movies?? Plus I read all four books, in less than a week?? Okay, now you can judge. Are you done judging? Now? Good.

There were a few things about the movie that I was disappointed in. Like the lack of lip biting!! Not once did Bella bite her lip! I was excited to do the count! It's kinda like when you go to a Michael Bay movie and count the black helicopters, it just wasn't the same without it!

There were wig issues as well and I have to be honest, it was driving me nuts! It wasn't as bad as the makeup in the last movies, but Bella was definitely having issues, I could totally see the wig line!!! Oh, and don't get me started on the eyebrow in this movie, w capital T f?? I think Bella must have been forced to donate the missing halves of her eyebrows to Rosalie so she could have two giant caterpillars on her forehead- triple yikes!!!

I do have to admit the movie did make me laugh out loud a lot. I feel like I should maybe mention that it wasn't always appropriate, but there is humour in this film. Sparkles always bring a smile to my face, especially on vampires...

As always when the movie finished the usual debate ensued: team Edward or team Jacob. For the record I am a team Edward, Deal with it! Maybe it's an age thing, it feels far less creepy to be 30 and attracted to a 100 year old vampire, then being 30 and attracted to a 15 year old werewolf. We are not debating this issue today, alright?? Look some people like football players, some like Doctors, some like comic book geeks, and some, like sparkly vampires. That's life, move on.

All in all, I would have to say that I will go see the next movie- in the theatre! I will give it that chance! Besides, I am curious to see how the heck the bed got torn into pieces... ;-)